Married at 19?!

Yup. You read that correctly.

Lately I’ve been posting a lot of travel blogs and I figured I’d get to the inevitable and post something personal. Bear with me, it’s quite the lengthy rollercoaster of a story. Not only is this my first post about my marriage/relationship, but also my first post showcasing my faith.

So let’s backtrack a little to the beginning.

Joey and I started off as the type of friends that cannot go a day without talking. The kind of best friend that you’re so excited to tell about your day. You see, we started as good friends because I was already seeing someone. Because of this, there were actually many times where we said to each other, “We probably are talking way too often. We should try to take a little break from each other for a few weeks.”

We never made it more than a few days.

Well time went on and my broken, unhealthy, relationship crumbled and Joey was there to hold my hand. (Well, considering his traveling for work and me living in NYC for school, his version of comforting me was sending me 100 bags of my favorite teas to my dorm. Cute right?) It also helped that I had my church group of NYC girls there for me and supporting me through everything.

We began dating after a few months and many people thought we were moving fast but I was already closer with him on a more mature, Godly, and friendship level than I had been before.

Fast forward six months and he proposes! We had already discussed God’s plan for us (which was very clear and confirmed to both of us) and knew it was time.

Unfortunately, however, my family was not too thrilled about this fast paced relationship. I also did not grow up with a father and along with Joey’s very quick-thinking surprise proposal plan, my mother was not asked for her blessing.

Then, with his work trip to Europe approaching, we realized that God set up the timing perfectly for us to use it as our honeymoon. This meant, we got engaged, and planned to be married in two weeks time.

My parents? Not super thrilled. Thankfully my step-dad came around once he realized that we had thought it through and we weren’t just eloping. Things were really difficult for my mom to wrap her head around. I was her baby. I am the oldest child in my family and also the only girl. I had just finished my first year of leaving for college and now, all so suddenly, I was getting married! WOAH! It was a lot to take in.

This all made me almost call it off and have us wait. But you know what that is? Living out of fear. God does not want us to live out of fear but live out of love. And boy, Joey and I were (and still are) in love. And it was God’s loving plan for us to get married that soon. It was really difficult even for me to wrap my head around so we took a few days to be alone and just talk to God, pray, fast, and dive into the Bible. One of the things God really had me do was to write. And I did. I wrote a huge list of reasons I felt ready to be married.

For those that are curious, this is what I wrote in those few days:

“How I know I’m Ready for Marriage:

Firstly, I found the right person.

Well, how do I know he’s the one?

I’m confident that God put us together – I’ve received various confirmations (see below)

I’m ready for commitment – I look around and see other friends that are single on and off and always going on dates with strangers and I know that’s just not the life for me. I know that I want a partner and something with meaning.

He pushes me to grow to know God – By always encouraging me to go to Him whenever there’s a problem, issue, or even to give thanks for something amazing that’s happened. Also encouraging me to spend more time in the word, worship, and prayer. Along with introducing me to more intense experiences with God (speaking with prophets and such). Through these things, we have grown in the Spirit not only individually, but together as well.

I can be myself – I know that I absolutely never have to hide anything and I can genuinely be myself and he truly loves it and always encourages me to stay true to who I am and to always do what my heart desires.

Communication – Neither of us ever hold anything in. If there’s ever something bothering us or just something that we want to clarify, we always talk it out then and there and we never have a problem coming up with a fair compromise that makes us both happy. Our communication allows us to work through any difficulties effectively.

Adventure – We share a lot of the same goals for our future so we know that every day with each other will be an adventure and we want to have those adventures together and to grow with each other as we experience life.

We have discussed and (semi) planned our future – We are on the same page when it comes to morals, what we aim to accomplish in 5,10,20 years and so on. We know the basis of how we want to discipline our future children, when we want to have them, etc. We have agreed that having years of just us alone is very important before having children. We know what each other wants for our individual goals as well as goals together and support each other with them.

He’s my best friend – We started off with a great foundation in friendship and God. That friendship is still so strong at the core of our relationship and has contributed to our strong communication skills as well as always being able to make each other laugh.

What marriage will bring :

Financial stability – He has a stable, great job that will be able to secure a home and comfortable living.

Wonderful honeymoon – along with his job, he’s been able to get us one month of traveling and 7 days of free time during it. We won’t get another chance like this without Joey having to take the time off of work and us paying for the entire trip.

Joy – Being able to see the love of my life, be financially stable, and doing what I love, and knowing that God planned it all will bring me peace, joy, and happiness.

Less Stress – No longer will I stress about school, supplies, finances, or travel to see family or friends. I know that he will support me through it all.

Seek God together regularly and consistently – Living together will provide a perfect opportunity to find a church, get involved, get into a schedule of reading the word, praying together, worshipping, and truly seeking God’s heart.

Dreams – I will always have his support to work with animals, pursue art, and even finish my degree abroad if I choose to do so.

Living together- Married and right under God we will both be able to learn and live together and be able to wake up to the love of our life every morning and I’ll be able to come home to his loving arms every day from college.

Growth -Living together and being married for a year before our big wedding will give us the unique opportunity to truly grow together. We’ll be able to both have fresh start in a new place and learn new life skills together.

Confirmations: Psalm 20:1-3

Psalm 23

Timing

A fellow man of God reaching out with council and a very accurate, unprovoked message with no previous knowledge of our situation.”

This is my youngest brother who was SO happy to have Joey as his new big brother

God gave me so many confirmations that we were doing the right thing. And that whole world of having a relationship with Him was so new to me that it was almost too good to be true.

One thing I stumbled upon was a wonderful blog that helped show me that I wasn’t alone in being one to follow my faith (whatever it may be), staying true to who you are despite judgement and hardships, and being married so young. One of my favorite posts from her was “You cannot put an age limit on your life”. So true!

Finally the day came where we decided to make things official. My mom not only came to show her support, but gave me a dress to wear, we got our nails done together and had dinner together (with Joey’s mom and younger sister) the night before, and she walked me down the aisle, well path, since it was at a park.

A year has gone by and she is so proud of me and so happy that I am where I am. Joey and I are doing amazingly, we’ve had our big wedding celebration and everyone has supported and loved us the whole time.

Sometimes God’s plan can seem scary and overwhelming at first, but don’t let those whispers of doubt and fear enter your mind. God works for the good of those that love Him and are called by His name. A Father does the best for His children.

He has certainly made the best plan for us.

I’m Kali, I’m 20 years old, I’ve been married for a little over a year now and it’s been so wonderful.

Once in awhile I get the “Wait, you’re married? How old are you???” But it’s okay! Because I know I’m in the right place and I’m happy.

And that’s what matters.

Listen to God’s plan, and don’t doubt it, even if it’s intimidating.

Love,

Kali